Today in the United States, it’s the Thanksgiving holiday. The harm caused to indigenous peoples and negative impacts of colonialism feels at odds with how the holiday is presented. The theme is coming together, contributing, and sharing an intentional feast, typically with (extended) family and even branching out to community to foster a collective while celebrating differences and sharing.
Besides historical and cultural implications, mental health struggles run rampant in the holiday season- as the pressure and desired joy of celebrations highlight grief/loss, family strife/discordances, disparity, distance and financial insecurity for many, while dropping temperatures and shortened daylight hours in many regions may lower energy levels and mood with the season cycles of nature influencing our body’s to slow down. For others, the pressure to show up to many events, gift give for a long list, plan/prep/cook, and engage in many social activities leads to exhilaration, and perhaps overextension/stress with the busyness.
There is much more depth and nuance to the subjects of history and mental health around the holidays, but I find it important to acknowledge before diving into the focal point of this blog: gratitude!
In a nutshell, the difference of thankfulness and gratitude is feeling; as gratitude is accompanied by an experience, a feeling that evokes more depth. To say “thank you” is a common courtesy of social conditioning and an expectation of the exchange of an act of kindness, help, or generosity. It’s often ingrained and can be a second nature reflex in social situations.
Gratitude is like a lens that magnifies the good things.
We not only see what there is to be thankful for, we FEEL it. It can show up in the smallest moments throughout your day and snowball into a powerful force of positivity that boosts your life.
Take the moment of replenishing with a glass of water when you’re incredibly thirsty, and bringing focus to feel the refreshing effects, reflecting on how fortunate it is to access clean water on demand, to really feel the smooth texture, and perhaps even releasing a satisfied sigh “ahhh!” That feeling of satisfaction combined with awareness of it to really feel grateful m.
Really being present to life’s simple pleasures helps us to stay in tune with the aspects of deeper meaning and value.
When I began a gratitude practice, I was struggling with mental health and life felt heavy and hard, a constant barrage of self-critical thoughts, depression, social anxiety, stress, and a busy schedule with full time work and college. My dog KC was an emotional support animal (ESA) and gave me a deeper sense of comfort, safety, connection and healing than is possible to convey.
Her beautiful loving disposition, multi-tone shades of her coat, the silky softness of her fur, her expressive empathetic eyes, and unconditional love gave me so much to admire (and adore) that it pulled me from the cyclical thoughts of a mind that replayed traumas and kept me trapped in negativity.
KC’s need for exercise (and my supportive partner of the time) encouraged me to build a routine to walk daily. Seeing her joyfully trot on the leash, and learn to run alongside me on a bicycle, allowed me to access nature every day. Starting my day exploring green lawns of local parks, bustling with other people being active on walks and rides, playing on the tennis courts, or children at the playground laughing was uplifting. We rode a loop that eventually worked up to 5km around “America the Beautiful Park” in my hometown. We would stop by a fountain and she laid her belly in the grass to cool off with her legs extended behind her in a big stretch, while I felt the endorphins in my body and enjoyed the view.
This routine sometimes felt like a chore, to get motivated to get moving, or having to bundle up to face the elements in less ideal weather. Yet, when it snowed and we wore layers that crunched on the walk and braved the wind. Being able to tend to this loving healing creature and her needs for movement gave me the same benefits. I would see the snow capped mountain Pikes Peak of my hometown as if for the first time through awestruck eyes, noticing the beauty of trees or animals in the neighborhood. I was offline from digital distractions, present in my body, accompanied by my healing ESA. I was experiencing deep gratitude consistently.
[Photo of the author & dog Archer in Whistler, Canada 11/2024]
This routine became a gratitude practice by its mere existence and with a little intentionality on my part, being present to notice the good created a positive spiral to notice more and reinforced the feedback loop. Some walks or rides were graced with sunsets or chance encounters with kind strangers, adding to restoring a sense of goodness in the world.
More aspects of my life began to feel rewarding and become focal points of gratitude. When I re-discovered group exercise as incredibly fun, empowering and uplifting, exercise became some thing that I “get to do” versus an obligation I “have to” do (which actually reduces our biological response of enjoyment for a task fulfillment when a task is a “should” rather than a desire, part of why true client-centered coaching doesn’t tell you what to do but rather evokes your motivations for what you actually want).
Gratitude shifted me from focusing on my shortcomings, feeling negative emotions most of the time (hence a self-imposed nickname “Ciera Cynical”) to embracing an overflowing cup of gratitude that naturally pours out to those around me. Once I changed my outlook to mindful awareness then I noticed life became naturally accompanied by the experience of feeling gratitude and the quality of my life improved drastically. Every night, I began vocalizing my top 3 things to be grateful for and it sealed the day with appreciation.
People who know me (or sometimes even upon early impressions) now tell me I feel like sunshine, so much so that my nickname became Ciera Sunshine.
My mental health, inner emotional landscape, and outer world shifted a 180° turn from dark negativity into abundant positive energy. This transformed how I felt, how I could show up in relationships, the quality of my work, the fulfillment and rewards I felt of doing mundane tasks of daily life and building courage to embrace challenges. The positivity didn’t erase the pain and hard realities, but instead uplifted me in my capacity to overcome and acknowledge the omnipresent positive elements. I point this out to juxtaposition gratitude with toxic positivity amidst life's real adversities.
Today, as you may feel a myriad of emotions, try to give a little more focus on the positive. When it’s already happening especially, “catch the good” and let it linger. Really notice how it feels in your body and mind in this moment of positivity. Savor it.
Being mindful helps us to clear focus and be in the now, rather than mind rushing off on agendas of the future, ruminating the past, worrying or stressing. We can learn to engage fully with our senses and tune into the glorious details of life in front of us.
As you may gather and dine, consider pausing to bask in the feeling of gratitude for what you get to eat, the company you may have and the environment with which you may be safe, warm, comfortable. May eat bite be savored and experienced. The combinations of flavors, textures, and nourishing. May you feel greater ease and presence to enjoy the experience not just of eating, and sharing a meal, but of being there to fully embrace the gifts of being alive (despite it being a challenging and complex world!)
I hope you adopt an attitude of gratitude not just for holidays and celebration, but for an enriching life.
If you found value in this blog, consider sharing it with a loved one or sharing on your social media to relay a message of gratitude that can change lives
Today I’m grateful to wake up on an adventure vacation to learn skiing in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada with loving family, our dog Archer. I’m celebrating completion of my Master of Science degree in Health and Human Performance (MS HHP) which deepened my understandings on how positive psychology influences our wellness and empowers me to coach others on achieving optimal wellness and fulfillment.
My next adventure is expanding my Bridal Health Coaching business to help brides experience gratitude the whole journey to the aisle! If you or someone you know is engaged to be married, scope out my new website BridalHealthCoach.com to see more about how wellness coaching can elevate the wedding experience.
Written by Ciera Gump, MS HHP 11/28/2024
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